How to Discuss a Gray/Senior Divorce with Your Adult Kids
By: Gordon & Perlut, LLC
Talking to your children about your divorce is tough under any circumstances. However, when most people consider the difficulties of telling children about a planned divorce, they are usually thinking about minor children from their marriage who will need to adjust to co-parenting and shared parental responsibilities in Illinois. Most of us are not thinking about the difficult process of revealing divorce plans to adult children. However, given the rising rates of gray/senior divorce in Chicago and across the country, many older adults are making the decision to file for divorce and are finding it surprisingly complicated to tell their adult children.
Many adult children respond poorly to the news of their parents’ divorce, and some even try to intervene, assuming — as adults themselves — they know what is best for their parents. Seniors often need to learn tips for telling their kids about their intentions to divorce. A recent NPR article discusses a new book designed to help adult children of “gray/senior divorce.” It considers the effects divorce can have on adult kids. The following are some tips to consider if you are planning a gray/senior divorce this year.
Your Financial Situation Will Be Safe
Many adult children worry about their parents’ finances after they retire, and news of a gray/senior divorce can be scary. There are a lot of articles available discussing the financial pitfalls of a gray/senior divorce, and the ways older adults cannot financially recover after splitting up. By reassuring your children that you are doing well financially and that both you and your spouse will continue to be comfortable, you can ease some of your kids’ financial concerns.
You and Your Spouse Both Agree About the Divorce and Are Happy to Move Forward
Often, adult children will worry about the spouse who is not filing for divorce. They will feel concerned that one of their parents does not actually want this divorce, and that the other parent is being selfish. If you can have an honest conversation with your children, and you can make clear, with your spouse, that you both are on the same page about the divorce, that kind of agreement could make the process easier.
You Want to Focus on a Retirement Life That Is Fulfilling to You
It is frequently difficult for kids of any age — even adult children — to recognize their parents have their own lives and their distinct needs. If getting divorced and changing your lifestyle in retirement is what will truly fulfill to you, — communicate that to your kids to help them understand where you are coming from.
Contact a Chicago area Divorce Lawyer
Divorce is never easy and breaking the news to family members can be particularly complicated and even contentious. When you have adult children who do not want their parents to split up, the news of a gray/senior divorce can be difficult to take. However, it is possible to talk with your kids and, in most cases, for your adult children to accept your plans. If you need assistance filing for divorce or have questions specific to gray/senior divorces, an experienced Chicago divorce attorney at our firm can talk with you today. Contact Gordon & Perlut, LLC for more information about the services we provide in the Chicago area.